ON TOUR FOREVER – DAY TWO

    Awoke in Eugene under the typical Motel 6 comforter. It’s a nice pattern that varies slightly from location to location, but there is a common thread (no pun intended). Most of the dudes showered but I decided against one. Baby wipes may have played a role in that decision but I felt pretty clean and my stink smells like roses. Anyway, we spent the afternoon doing errands. First stop was a Radio Shack to grab a new fuse for the one that blew in the S-100 at the Salem show. Take note bands; dirty power will fuck up your gear! Nothing compares to the sound of tube amplifiers but the upkeep on them can drive you and your wallet crazy. Next was the Trader Joe’s. Dustin bought out their entire stock of buffalo jerky and Keith & I made sure to take advantage of their free coffee. Free on the road is never to be wasted. Next was the WinCo. As I get older humans appear to get stranger and stranger and never was this observation tested more accurately than entering into the sweatpants vortex of this place. It’s a breeding ground of mutant Monsanto food and low IQ’s but we needed to stock up on canned beans and par boiled rice. We decided to try and eat as cheap as possible on the road while retaining some semblance of health. Thus, the Motel Burrito was born. Plus most of us are on food stamps so it’s a way for the State of Oregon to directly participate in the success of Black Pussy. At the checkout you could actually see people getting fatter and dumber by just looking at their grocery choices. It’s not a good place to go to test your faith in the human species.

    We found Tiny’s and parked out front. I remembered that I played there before and went in to check it. It is definitely the most thriving dive in Eugene with an entire front row of miscreants, bums and addicts parked at the bar. The video poker machines were all the buzz with an audience to boot. Found out some show details and went to a bakery for coffee and internet. Those two things are both inseparable and a must on the road. I don’t know how many times we’ll have to ask “What’s your WiFi password?” on this trip. The internet was so shoddy that work became almost futile so we packed up and went across the street for dollar chicken tacos from a food cart. I love food carts and Mexicans and cheap eats so it was a win all around. Even got the hook up on some guacamole and pico. Then Black Mike made our acquaintance while we were waiting outside next to the van. Moments before he almost fell over on his bike but he seemed relatively stable. He had a big junk yard dog chain around his neck which I assumed he used as a bike lock and was clad in baggy camo. He asked about the band name and was pleasantly surprised when we told him. Funny, most black men are. He told us about his time spent in Portland at the Satyricon and meeting Madonna at a gay club. I tend to believe the stories which seem too strange to make up. Then the most beautiful redneck truck pulled in with “cunt junkie” on the grill guard. We waited for the guy to go in so we could pose for a photo with the pickup. Epic.

    You learn new things everyday. Apparently the Dean is an architecture school dropout. Who knew! A girl that was in his class and now lives in Eugene found her way to the show. She brought a friend and told some other people to come down. Also, Chief’s friend drove from Bend to see us play so we had some heads in the audience. After the first song an older guy told me my guitar was too loud. By the third song he had come up to the front again with a smile and eyes of approval. Guess I won him over. The band was tight and Dustin was making sure to get in the girls’ faces in the front row, rubbing his mustache and mic spit all over them while making them swoon over lines like, “I could fuck you forever.” Who doesn’t melt over such poetry? We did two encore songs and packed it up outside while Red Cloud set up. My oldest childhood friend also made it by the time we were close to leaving. We were drinking a beer at the bar when a drunk and seemingly crazy girl started getting in his bubble. Then minutes later outside she got her target on the Dean and came swinging at him. At 200 pounds and six feet seven she didn’t really stand a chance and he entertained it for about ten seconds, then he let her know fun time was over. The manager of the place chalked it up to, and I quote, “She got raped not too long ago.” Good times in Eugene!

‘Till next time!

- ryan | 1 Comment
  • The Hague

    These are awesome! Keep them coming!

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